Honorable Sacrifice?


Do you think Charlotte's sacrifice of never letting Tina know the truth about their relationship was the right thing to do? Or do you think that was a huge mistake.

Do you think it ultimately didn't matter since Tina and Delia are related by blood and adoption by the end of the movie?




No two persons ever watch the same movie.

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In Charlotte's mind removing herself as a possible mother was the only way to give her daughter a future, because no man would want to marry a bastard child, and no parents would allow their son to marry one. I think the adoption thing was hard on Charlotte and it didn't help her relationship with Tina ... but it did provide Tina with a future so Charlotte bore up under the strain and Delia's selfishness. Fortunately, Delia, inspired by Charlotte's selflessness, let go of some of her selfishness at the end of the movie, and told Tina to appreciate Charlotte.
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It was honorable,because if she had told her the truth it would have made Tina a bastard. Tina had more chances in life is she was adopted by Delia. But there's a few things I don't understand.Charlotte was gonna marry that guy that Delia took away from her (not Clem, the second guy). Couldn't they just have married and adopt Tina later? Up until she goes that Christmas to Delia's, Tina has only lived with Charlotte. Then she calls Delia mummy on Christmas eve. Shouldn't she feel more afectionate to the person she's lived with all her life than to this new aunt no matter how rich she is? Can't she remember that she was raised up with Charlotte? Also, couldn't Charlotte have just been nice to her? Shes very strict and that's one of the reasons Tina hated her. Did she do this just to distance herself from her or did she just want to discipline her? Delia was such a bitch. I bet she was also sad inside of what she had done and what Charlotte had ended up like.This movie is so so sad but it was good. I hope Tina can find out the truth later in life.

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I think that if Delia kept her big mouth shut, Charlotte would have married the 2nd guy (I forgot his name) and she would have convinced her husband to adopt Tina. I didn't find Charlotte as strict as I thought Tina was a spoiled brat. I found Charlotte to distance herself from Tina in public but there was a scene where she was sitting alone and says in this kind and motherly tone how Tina was being naughty staying out late but then as soon as she says that, Charlotte changed her tone to the strict aunt and uses it to lecture Tina. You can see that Charlotte loves Tina so much and would not have disciplined her because she did wrong but instead has to distance herself to Tina or anyone would ever guess the truth.

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<< Charlotte was gonna marry that guy that Delia took away from her (not Clem, the second guy). Couldn't they just have married and adopt Tina later? Up until she goes that Christmas to Delia's, Tina has only lived with Charlotte. Then she calls Delia mummy on Christmas eve. Shouldn't she feel more afectionate to the person she's lived with all her life than to this new aunt no matter how rich she is? Can't she remember that she was raised up with Charlotte? Also, couldn't Charlotte have just been nice to her? Shes very strict and that's one of the reasons Tina hated her. >>

It's probably best not to look at the plot too closely...as its completely unrealistic. Yes, people gave babies up for adoption in the civil war and in 1939, when this was filmed, but they didn't go back and forth about it and rehash their decision in nightly debates for decade upon decade. They either FIGURED SOMETHING OUT or left the skeletons in the closet.

Watching old movies is so annoying sometimes, because usually the plot hinges on some ridiculous moral issue that was supposed to teach some sort of lesson...but in actuality had little to do with anyone's life.

In the real world, no one's as weepily noble as Charlotte, or as crazily bitchy as Deliah.

I love classic movies and the artistry that went into making them, but with the stories themselves, there's usually a bunch of "huh??" moments.

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Why on earth do you think it's unrealistic that people who give children up for adoption would agonize about their decision for years afterwards? I hardly think Charlotte's dilemma (should or shouldn't her daughter know who her real mother is) is a "ridiculous moral issue."

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Yes, many people who give a child up for adoption "agonize" over the choice they made, but even for those who dwell on it, it's usually that the child and the past occurs to them fleetingly, even if it's once a day. It's human nature to get on with life, and supress painful memories.

I'm talking about the EXTENT to which the mother goes on and on and on about this. Normal people do not spend decades pacing the floor about a past choice, like Charlotte does, and let it overwhelm their present happiness forever. If the child is dwelling on Charlotte's mind sooooooooo much....then go get her the hell back, like a person in REAL LIFE would do. Or tell her what's on your mind!

Interestingly, my mom's adopted, and last year I did research and found out who her birth mother was, etc. We went back east to meet her uncle (the birth mother eventually died, unfortunately) and he shared family pictures and stories with us...showed us the neighborhood home they all grew up in, etc. I even called the home's present owner and explained why we were in town, and they left the gate open (!), so we could let ourselves in and walk around the grounds.

It was very exciting, but a little bittersweet, too.

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"Normal people do not spend decades pacing the floor about a past choice, like Charlotte does, and let it overwhelm their present happiness forever."


REALLY? I had a close friend who at 50 after three failed marriages would always sigh about his lost love from when he was 18. They talked about marriage but he chose to go into the service and when he got out, she had moved on. He told me repeatedly that he has never loved anyone like her and never will (30+ years later). He passed away with a broken heart that never healed

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To add to that, there are birth Moms that have difficulty moving on. When their children turn 18, they search for them. If the child is agreeable, they meet - but sometimes the birth Mom wants more contact than the child.

Early in the last century, it wasn't unusual for a family member to raise a child as their own when a young girl found herself 'in the family way'. Children who never knew that their sister was really their Mom; or that their Mom is really their Aunt.

I would think that living with her child but not able to acknowledge that would make it all the harder to 'get on with her life'... and it's not like she was going to put herself in a position to get married and move away from her daughter.

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