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Dr. Carroll's Lecture To The PTA [Spoilers!]

posted 15 years ago by Chesterfield_Invincible
16 replies | jump to latest

One must remember that the bulk of the story of 'Reefer Madness' is told in flashback at the PTA meeting (the announcement of which was placed in the sports page of the paper, underneath, there's a story about a horse race). It's fairly obvious that Dr. Carroll said things like.....

*"And so, Mae sat down at her vanity table, crossed her legs, and very slowly put on her silk stockings one by one....."

*"And so, Hot Fingers Peroni, who looked like a cross between Harpo Marx and Sergei Eisenstein, locked himself in the closet (which is a standard facility in all malt shops), and very discreetly smoked a reefer....."

*"And so, Jimmy and Jack cruised down Santa Monica Boulevard in Mary's white Ford convertible at the ungodly speed of 48 miles per hour....."

*"And so, Mary waited for Bill at the tennis court, wearing a cute tight sweater that showed off her magnificent rack [pauses here to drool]..."

*And so, Ralph sat next to Blanche at the piano where he commanded her to [imitates Ralph] play faster....FASTER.....PLAY FASTER......."

[–] thegreatraoul 14 years ago

"And so the gun went off whilst pointed at the floor, but the bullet bounced up and hit young mary in the back."

why dont you leave that weird *beep* alone?

[–] cosmicfarmer2 14 years ago

"And the jury foreman started daydreaming during deliberations, and he hallucinated that the drawstring for some nearby window shade was actually a noose. And he also saw a picture of George Washington, and thought to himself 'they're gonna hang George Washington if we don't convict this kid!'"

[–] Chesterfield_Invincible 14 years ago

And so, Mary's mother placed a samovar in front of Bill and Mary. Bill, not knowing what the contents were beforehand, smiled liked a jackas, and proclaimed [imitating Bill], "Gosh! Hot Chocolate".

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[–] Chesterfield_Invincible 13 years ago

And so, the dope peddlers were all rounded up, thanks in a large part to that great G-Man, Dick Tracy, who got the call on his 2-way wrist radio.

[–] Chesterfield_Invincible 13 years ago

And so, Bill fixed his little brother's model airplane, if only to stop him from going [imitates Junior] "Bill's gotta girlfriend! Mary's little lamb!"

[–] jrpelt 13 years ago

LECTURER: "Finally, the foreman led the remaining jurors in wedgie-ing a 'guilty' out of that last little hold-out... who, between you and me, kinda had a 'Jew-ey' look about him. Why are you all looking at me like that?"

[–] jrpelt 13 years ago

THE LECTURER: "Blanche was then led out of the judge's chambers by a matron to be held until her own trial could occur, during which she was certain to receive a hefty fine and several hours community service. Unfortunately, no one -- not the judge, the DA, or her own attorney had notified her of such a sentence, for not a minute had gone by when she ran away from the matron, smashed open a window, and threw herself to her death in act of self-recrimination. This, sadly, also made her confession as to the truth behind young Mary Lane's death legally hearsay. Fortunately, the police were able to third-degree a similar statement from Mae..."

AUDIENCE MEMBER: "I was wondering what happened to her."

THE LECTURER: "... thus enabling Jimmy to be released from prison."

[–] Chesterfield_Invincible 12 years ago

"And so Blanche lured Bill into her bedroom, where high on the dreaded marihuana they...er...well, there are ladies present here, so..ah..use your imagination!"

[–] Chesterfield_Invincible 11 years ago

DR. CARROLL: "And so, Jack got Mae to tell the police that Bill and Mary were only up there 'for a couple of beers'."

AUDIENCE MEMBER [Thinking]: "Some priorities this school has...they bend over backwards over marihuana, but do absolutely nothing to curb underage drinking!"

[–] Chesterfield_Invincible 11 years ago

"And so I told FBI Agent Wyatt 'We educators can't do anything until the public is sufficiently aroused'. Misunderstanding me, he reached over and grabbed my crotch."

[–] Chesterfield_Invincible 8 years ago

"And so, Bill's murder case came to trial. The judge still aggravated from the previous day's murder trail, where much of the court's time was wasted by three moronic chowder-heads, who had caused Disorder in the Court!"