Your favorite J-Law story
A little trip to an 'urban' movie theater to see her in X MEN
I've been here a handful of times since I moved to Washington Heights 7 years ago because it's semi-close by. Every time I go I remember why I hate it so much and vow to never go again, but then some months pass and I forget how bad it really is. Not this time!
I went on a Wednesday night for my boyfriend's birthday to see X-men 3D. When we walked in the ticket window looked abandoned. There was no one there, lights out, no sign. Ok, we'll go to the self-serve machine. Nope. None of them were in working order, yet again, NO SIGN! We went to the third floor to investigate whether the theater was even open. It was. I found that out after I asked a woman if I could buy tickets at the guest service desk and and she replied "What you think?". Ok, great.
Tickets in hand, we walked over to get some drinks and look at the food. The first thing I noticed was I was sticking to the floor. Every step made such a loud sound I literally began to tip toe. My boyfriend wanted pretzels and I wanted an icee. The person behind the counter pulled us close and told us we do not want the pretzels. They were all that was left but had been there since he began his shift at 2pm. It was 930pm. When we said we would take milk duds instead, he said he would "check the back", despite there being a ton in the display window. "You don't want those", he said. Point taken. We'll pass on the food.
I walked over to the icee machine and as I was pushing the button to dispense it, A WATERBUG CAME OUT FROM BEHIND THE MACHINE. I had a heart attack. Screamed. Began shaking imaginary bugs off of myself. I wanted a refund on the icee. No go. Apparently, the concession guy didn't know how to void a transaction and couldn't just give me something of equal value because it would mess up the inventory. Just kill me.
We headed to the theater when the smell hit us. Anything past the ticket taker REEKS of urine. Gross. The bathrooms are "open" with no doors separating them from the hall. You just walk in, and around a small bend to the stalls. You can imagine how disgusting the bathrooms were if the hallways smelled like urine. I went to wash my hands after the movie and couldn't because there was no soap! Of course.
Inside the theater wasn't any better as the smell was still lingering. The seats are small. The cushions are an itchy cloth. There's no leg room. The floors are sticky. It feels dirty. And the icing on the cake, no one shuts up during the movie. During this particular movie, every time Jennifer Lawrence came on the screen a gentlemen described what he would have her do to him, sexually. It was really fantastic. Especially when everyone complained and the staff said they couldn't help us or give us a refund because the movie had been running longer than 10 minutes. GREAT!
Final thoughts? Pay the extra $5 a ticket and go downtown. Avoid this place like the plague, which I'm sure you could catch there if you stayed long enough.