I know the ship has sailed, but the press still keeps going on and on about how brave Katie was to finally leave, take control of her life, blah,blah.
But, why wouldn't she even try marriage counseling at some point rather than tear your family apart? I agree that the whole Scientology issue is scary if you had a child, but divorce is horrific for a child, and Tom obviously adores the little girl.
Perhaps I am not cynical as others, but I though TC handled it well in comparison to others by finalizing the divorce so quickly.
One could easily pose the same question of Tom Cruise. Why didn't he initiate marriage counselling? Upon hearing the divorce news while filming in Iceland, why didn't he rush over to New York to talk with Katie? After the filming was done, he went straight to California. Didn't bother to do a brief stop over in NYC. Regardless of what was quoted in the press, he didn't seem so "distraught" about his marriage ending. Very strange.
For marriage counselling to work, the couple (not just one individual) has to value their marriage enough to seek out professional help to deal with the problems that threaten to destroy their relationship. There has to be a mutual interest and commitment in trying to make things work. Frankly, I don't believe that marriage counselling for TomKat was ever considered as an option because that wasn't what THEY wanted. Neither of them fought for it nor expressed the need for it. It's my opinion that the 5 year marriage contract had expired and neither Katie nor Tom were interested in renewing it (they probably couldn't stand each other at that point).
I don't understand your logic of having Katie and Suri remain in Scientology to avoid the negative effects of divorce. Both things are traumatic. Generally speaking, I would recommend that couples make an honest attempt at counselling before jumping into divorce but if a peaceful resolution cannot be reached, then divorce/separation is the only route left to take. However, the TomKat "marriage" is completely different because it was never a normal circumstance. In Katie's situation, she had to decide which kind of future she wanted for herself--one with Scientology or one without. Scientology does not provide room for "alternative options" such as counselling* (especially by psychologists!!!). It's very black and white--you are either for Scientology dominating in every aspect of your life or you are against it. No compromises. Facing that kind of ultimatum, breaking up with Cruise is the BEST decision that Katie could have made.
Scientology isn't the best model when it comes to respecting marriages and families either. In fact, tearing up couples and family bonds is its specialty! There's even a Scientology word for it--it's called "disconnection". Disconnection is a routine occurance within the cult whenever any other competing love or loyalty threatens the cult's interests. To allow anything to surpass Scientology as top priority is like a crime in the cult's eyes. Sea Org members (Scientology's elite military-like corps) submit themselves exclusively to the cult's service, often at the expense of their romantic relationships or familial responsibilities. There is great pressure placed on Sea Org members to separate from their spouses/partners and children/family members for long periods of time--all in an effort to "clear the planet" (i.e. make a new civilization entirely based on Scientology). This is how the cult of Scientology treats the most precious treasure[blue][b] in the world.
*Scientology does provide counselling for married couples but it often boils down to laying blame on someone for causing trouble and/or milking money from them to pay for the extra auditing sessions that are required to "clear up" any strife. The goal is not to objectively analyze the contributing factors at the root of the conflict but rather to prejudge who is not in compliance with the cult. According to Scientology, if you are deemed to be "downstat", a "suppressive person (SP)" or a "potential trouble source (PTS)" (all cult jargon based on cult values, not established science), YOU are solely to blame. YOU are a bad person and only bad people cause marital problems. Case closed.
Unfortunately, every state in this otherwise great nation has no-fault divorce.
Couples-especially the female half-see no need to fight. They think they can pick up the pieces and start all over again, regardless of the mess that was left behind and the potential happiness and bliss that can follow if there is still love there.
In America-with its pathetic 50% divorce rate-divorce is a first resort rather than a last one.
Note: Also, I'm pretty sure that Holmes' father pushed her to get a divorce when there was trouble in the marriage.
You seem a little bitter, Yorick. What's up? Not as enamoured with Katie as you once were? Had some personal experience with divorce?
Martin Holmes RIGHTFULLY had misgivings about his daughter entering a relationship with a cult fanatic, hence the pre-nup he reportedly wrote up for her. He provided her a way out if (more like WHEN) things didn't work out between her and Cruise. There was no need for him to push for divorce with a pre-nup agreement in place (the terms of which BOTH PARTIES--that would be Tom and Katie--agreed to). Katie grabbed at the chance to leave when she was ready to do so. So cheer up! Everything is "just fine"!
P.S. -- as pathetic as the divorce rate is in America (no argument there), the rate of marriage breakdowns within the Scientology community is even worse. Scientology definitely DOES NOT WORK in producing happy, stable relationships. Look at their top Scientologist, Tom Cruise! All three of his marriages have bitten the dust!!
reply
share