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Do people think you are rude because you are introverted?


Sometimes I don't say anything especially at work and people think I'm blowing them off when that's the last thing I'm trying to do. Or if I don't feel like doing something they feel the same.

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"blowing them off". heh.

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No more like depressed.

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I've never understood introverts caring about what other people think. I can understand it if your attitude is to the point that it's upsetting to relatively rational people but beyond that there's not much to care about. Or maybe I'm not really an introvert. I don't much like people and they've made it clear they don't like me. I'm fine with that as long as they keep out of my way but if they're going to turn around and claim that I'm rude because I'm not fawning over them then they can go jam it.

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Yes, but I stopped caring what total strangers think a long time ago.

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Even your co-workers? What if it's affecting your relationship with those at work? Like say at a lunch break where everyone's talking and you're just sitting in the corner not saying anything?

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I mostly work independently so it's not really an issue there.

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Yeah, I am very quiet and introverted. People often have seen me as ignoring them or being aloof or whatever. In some cases I am avoiding them lol. But generally I am just being me, just as a loud annoying person is being themselves when they are being loud and annoying.

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What if it's affecting your relationship with those at work? Like say at a lunch break where everyone's talking and you're just sitting in the corner not saying anything? Are you worried about the political ramifications of this? I.e. coworkers ganging up on you to get you fired or quit.

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I take my breaks alone. I have noticed that it really doesn't matter. In fact it can be worse for the social people who get in each other's business, hang out after work etc. They share too much, they have disagreements etc It is actually inviting more problems.

All they can really say about me is that I am quiet. I have bucket loads on them though and that is only because they talk so much and overhear it!

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I think you can still be an introvert and not alienate people. I’m an introvert but I still involve myself the best I can with my coworkers, enough that they know I’m friendly and care about them. You’ve got to force yourself a little bit, that doesn’t mean that you have to be a joiner, just inclusive.

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I'm not introverted at work, I'm pretty chatty with all of them and I leave my door open so anyone can come in to vent or kibitz

The few introverts at work or in my private life do seem to get judged as snobby or rude which is unfair...
Some people just don't like to chit-chat that much, that's not such a bad thing

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I imagine so. I'm not comfortable with faking small talk, and it takes me a while to see what average folks (like myself) have to offer concerning the small warmths we extend to co-workers.
I never mean to be haughty, but under the self-imposed stress of working very hard to make the business look like it's running smooth, and seeing people who don't seem to "get it," I just turn off and persevere in my own way.
And it probably looks rude and distant to others.

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I think other people who make that "haughty" and "rude" assumption tend to be insecure people themselves. They think, "Well, if he's not talking to us, it must mean he thinks he's better than us!". Ugh....

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I actually don't blame them. My point is, I (capital I) feel uncomfortable being casually comfortable with superficial social clap-trap, but for a lot of folks, that's the currency. We laugh, we smile, we shake hands ....
For me, it's a difficult moment to overcome. For others it's the usual intercourse of social behavior.

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Indeed. I feel the same way. I was a young 28 year old and am Asian working in an office with mainly middle-aged white women. It wasn't easy. I had nothing in common with them and it was challenging finding "common ground" when they did their "superficial social clap-trap" while I was just sitting in the corner quietly. It was not a "good fit".

I think age, gender and race plays a big role in it.

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I used to be one because my parents never told me anything. After an awkward teen years, I learned something.

That introversion and extroversion don't matter. Annoying people can be an introvert or extrovert. What we deem "annoying" are the people that basically don't listen. Chatty people that talk and never listen. AND silent people that stay silent and never listen. I found that both are annoying to others.

Introvert people usually are also (very) chatty when it's their topic, like their hobbies, movies, videogames, etc.

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Umm, introverts tend to be good listeners though.

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Not from my experience. They might think they're good at listening but they're not. I thought I was good at listening, turned out I was not. The same can be said to extroverts.

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