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Can someone please explain to me why parents do that?


Now as an adult AND a father of a two years old girl there are slme things that I can't understand. Why are parents such hypocrites? I mean, they admit to had done things in their youth... and then forbid their children for doing the same OR judge them. I have plenty of friends whose parents show this double standard well and which makes them total hypocrites, but I will focus on mine.

1. My parents used to get drunk every weekend starting from age 15 for my father, and 17 for my mother. But me drinking at 14 was the end of the world and they use ground me for it (I would escape from my window as a result 🙄).

2. My parents met each others when my father was 15 and my mother 16 and they started to have sex pretty much right away. I didn't have the right to bring girls home at 17 (I did it anyway from age 16 but I had to hide them). What.... seriously? What is this hypocrisy.

3. My father was arrested at 16 for public drinking. He gave me shit for having a ticket for parking in a wrong place.

And I know MANY parents who have these double standards or think that grounding their children is the best education.

Seriously, I hope me and my girlfriend will give a better education to our daughter and instead of being hypocrites... we will be able to talk to her to make sure that everything she does, she does it safely.

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It's all in the genes baby! Sounds like the apple doesn't fall far.

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That lifestyle can be deadly. It can lead you to a shitty life. It can lead you to a life of bad health or simple addiction. They went through it. Everyone who goes through it KNOWS someone or more people who didn't come out on top( or worse). Life in the fast lane is a risk. I survived. Not all of my friends did(literally). RiP brothers.

The simple reason, they love you.

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It's not hypocrisy. They're your parents, and that means they're responsible for raising you and establishing limits and obligations.

It's their job. And it's often an ungrateful job. That's why grandparents enjoy their grandchildren so much: they're not responsible for raising them anymore and can simply enjoy. A woman I knew used to say that her daughter complained when she spoiled their grandchildren. And she used to answer to her "now you're the mother, and it's your job to play that role. I already did that job with you, and now I can enjoy spoiling my grandchildren when they visit me". The day you have children, it'll be your job to place limits and be the bad guy, and it'll be your parents the ones to enjoy and spoil them.

Imagine that you were in charge that your little brother (if you have one) eats properly. He will say you're an hypocrite, since you used to buy sweets when you were a child, and now you're making him eat vegetables and fruit and healthy foods. And it's not hypocrisy. It's that this would be your job.

Be happy that you have parents that understand that they're not your friends, but the ones responsible to raise you well. Not everybody is that lucky.

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If you love your daughter, you will tell her all the wrong choices you and your parents made and trust her not to repeat them.

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Coming to a certain age, I don't think sex is a "wrong" choice as long as it's with the right person and safe. It's just part of life.

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By "wrong choices" I didn't mean anything in particular. Everyone has his/her own precious lesson. For me and my siblings, it relates to my beloved late father's cigarette smoking habit. I am sure you would find some regretful choices of your family to share with your daughter when she reaches a certain age.

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I've had these discussions with my kids and it's always the same. "You made mistakes!" My answer is, "I sure have. Ill write all of them down and you can make 'em too, if that's what you want. I'm trying to help you avoid the heartache and pain."

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