I'm shocked that in 2019 I still occasionally have people in retail or coworkers use terms like 'love' or 'darl' etc. I'll take 'mate', that's fine, that's normal in Australia.
But when people touch me on my shoulder, or pat me, etc, I think 'why are you touching me?'
Me neither but then I copped a lot of beatings when I was a child.
I'm seriously sorry to hear that Quasimodo
Nobody ever bumped you off though...think about it
A lot of the kiddos could claim harm and neglect but they are gone
Build on your survival skills and help others...helping others helps YOU, no lie
Nobody has bumped me off but they have had a couple of good goes at it ! And my personal experience has been that no good deed goes unpunished. But it's nice to hear that your experience has been more positive.
"Nobody knows the trouble I've seen..."
shareEverybody Knows - Leonard Cohen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lin-a2lTelg
I have a really strong dislike of anyone getting in my personal space, so touching me in a store is a good way to get me to leave.
shareYeah but what about medical examinations and such. You have no choice in that situation so you just have to put up with it.
I stress about it for days , but I have gotten much better as I've gotten older. I still think I can detect anyone coming up behind me pretty quick. No one sneaks up on me thats for sure.
shareI don't know if you are male or female but I feel the same way. I take a lot of calls at work and the amount of women who say "love/sweets/darls" is really pathetic. If I said the same thing to them it would be the end of the world.
I don't appreciate being touched either. I know there is this theory that men should just be happy about female attention but I do not subscribe to that way of thinking.
I saw this show and the guy said 'excuse me sweetheart' and she goes 'sweetheart?' and took offence. It is outdated but there is a bigger double standard.
The girl who called me 'love' the other day was at a supermarket and couldn't have been older than 22. Why is she talking like she's from the 50s or something?
Hipsters.
shareShe probably gets it from her parents who got it from their parents. It is just a cultural thing within their family. It's a lazy way of speaking really as it denotes "I don't know your name nor do I want to know it. I will just call you love and everything will be fine". It's similar to how men call each other mate but with that there is actually some camaraderie behind it.
shareThat seems strange to me. People touching is normal, terms of endearment are normal. Were you socially isolated as a child?
shareNot socially isolated but none of my friends were touchy feely.
I think what they are getting at though is touching and terms of endearment coming from strangers in particular.
shareYou're "shocked"??
What an odd thing to worry about.
I live deep in the mountains of east Tennessee and people here are generally very friendly. Friendly greetings, handshakes, shoulder touches and terms of endearment are very common, even among strangers. If you're broken down on the side of the road people are quick to stop and help and folks who don't know you personally will wave from their cars, or more likely, their trucks.
Still... people closest to me have hurt me the most and I have to remind myself that these people are just being friendly, don't want to harm me, and that human contact truly is a good thing.
Oxytocin is that good feeling that comes from connecting with another person and that's really all they're after and it's not just for themselves. They're trying to inspire it in you too ;)
Yup. Was just thinking these folks that are bothered by touching and terms of endearment should definitely avoid the dirty south.
share