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Mayim Bialik

posted 6 years ago by BiffGG (662)
26 replies | jump to latest

I have always respected Mayim and in a lot of ways I still do. I really wonder if she understands how the world really works. I am not referring to the blowup last week that many took as victim shaming. I do think that she meant what she said and to paraphrase I believe what she said is if you go into the lair of a wolf you have to expect the wolf to be true to his nature. That the business is laden with predators and one should not be surprised if an entertainment executive acts like a predator. What I am talking about is her comment on how she will raise her boys not to be like Weinstein. I am sure she will try 100 percent to raise her boys in an ethical manner. But she way underestimates the influence of the world that exists beyond her doorstep. Peer pressure more often than not can make for a bad influence. And there simply is the matter of a bad seed falling from a good (family) tree. I recall one classmate from grade school that was taken with disturbing imagery and notions. And this was at a time when there was not the influence via television or motion pictures that leave an ambiguous moral deduction.

[–] Popcorn Kernel (2368) 6 years ago

It is good that she is trying to raise her boys to respect women, but does she think Harvey's mom raised him to be the predator he is? Are moms always responsible for their 50 year old children's actions?
Nobody sets out to raise their child to be a serial killer or a child molester... somewhere along the line, people are responsible for their own actions.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

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[–] Daggerboard (581) 6 years ago

"It's not that women shouldn't dress as they please of course they should."

I disagree. We should dress appropriately for how others see us. If I feel like walking around the neighborhood in my nightgown, others might see that as a mental breakdown. If I wear sexy clothes to work, others might see that as a distraction. Or that I'm looking for a raise from the boss. (No pun intended)
Another issue is there used to be clear lines drawn. Ladies didn't go into men's hotel rooms, unless they wanted what was waiting for them. Ladies wore appropriate attire. Ladies would have escorts in certain situations. Since the so-called sexual revolution, lines have been blurred, and many women don't know how to be ladies anymore.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

We have this new 20 something year old woman at work who wears the shortest skirts I have ever seen - I must say she has great legs. As a 54 year old male I really don't mind - I haven't heard any other males complain either. Interestingly, I have heard some females make some catty comments. I agree the lines are blurred and I just keep my head down at work.

[–] Daggerboard (581) 6 years ago

You're a wise man.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

No definitely not

[–] BiffGG (662) 6 years ago

Weinstein is from an era where if a young women agreed to meet a man in a hotel room that sex was on the table. And at the same time unless Weinstein used some sort of date rape drug, had a remote key lock to prevent escape, focused a weapon, or something similar to those contingencies there is such a thing as putting your principles ahead of your greed plus your ambitions and turning around followed by walking out the door. Being an actress is not some sort of entitlement. Many of us put our principles ahead of finances when we refuse to sell products we know that do not live up to their billing or turn guys like Weinstein into the authorities when they think it is alright to cheat on their taxes, look at kiddy porn, or bilk some old woman who has dementia out of her savings. These girls need to learn that doing right often comes with pain such as most of us have learned out here in the everyday world. To do nothing about wrong doing just allows more victims to be cultivated by a perpetrator.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

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[–] BiffGG (662) 6 years ago

Whether somebody has lived long enough to learn enlightened principles is not the same thing as actually learning those same principles. Just because Weinstein is 65 does not mean that he took the time to learn anything and often when somebody acquires the level of wealth Weinstein has they often do not feel the need.

Enough of the liberal guilt shame playbook. Unfortunately, many women are victims of sexual crimes. However, things such as rape are treated far more seriously than what they were a generation ago or two. Once a woman can flee the scene they can go to the authorities to file a complaint. The only reason to not file a complaint or make the problem known is most actresses figure the sexual assault is part of the price for fame and fortune.

Nobody said a woman deserved to be sexually assaulted. At the same time I can't go back in time to prevent Weinstein from harassing women or educate him as to why he should not.

In the case of a young woman being assaulted by an executive of the entertainment industry there is no reason not to report it. Further, let it be known here that if a perpetrator "soils" the victim that "dirt" could be considered evidence to bring the perp to justice. Your experience is on a different level than what happened to those in Hollywood so I fail to understand the comparison. Not that I was sexually assaulted as a boy but I do understand about coming out against adults especially from a bygone era. The one neighbor of ours was a crook and that made for a few uncomfortable encounters growing up. He would always wait for my parents to be gone to stop by and "borrow" things. He would always have some excuse like he actually bought it and my dad borrowed it even though I was eye witness to my dad having bought a number of these things.

Nobody said you "deserved it." You are taking these encounters by these actresses onto your shoulders when the situations don't overly compare.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

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[–] BiffGG (662) 6 years ago

Stop putting words in my mouth and twisting what I am saying. I never once said Weinstein was justified in his actions. I merely was indicating that I understand how guys like Weinstein come to be who they are. I never condoned it and at every opportunity have said that the victims should go to the authorities and that Weinstein face the consequences.

It is obvious that you lack a considerable quantity of moral principles. You still approach the matter of the Hollywood actresses as though it was a matter of entitlement to be employed. Regardless of what happened in the hotel room there were recourses as letting the world know what kind of man Weinstein is and at every opportunity whether it be Beckinsale, Paltrow, etc failed to do what is right and at least seek out legal remedies against Weinstein. Every time the actress put money and fame ahead of ethics. There is no way to justify it including your personal experience of sexual harassment. There is no getting around in doing the right thing often comes at a personal cost. When we fail to heed this as a society is to accelerate society's downfall.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

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[–] BiffGG (662) 6 years ago

Your principles obviously condone the violation of these women. You are OK with victim after victim saying nothing thus allowing Weinstein's rampage to go on for DECADES. Had somebody spoken up twenty years ago most or all of the subsequent victims might have been spared an encounter with Weinstein. Brad Pitt's action is laughable as his star power could have shut Weinstein down via speaking out against sexual harassment in general if by a legal technicality he could not speak specifically against Weinstein. His action was no different than trailer trash on the matter. Why do I get the feeling if these women were being interviewed for an "associate" position at WalMart and this type of conduct happened that they would have found their way to a police station?

Lastly, throwing out accusations of ignorance, racism, and misogyny are typical leftist fare. Well, you threw all that against the wall and none of it is sticking. I am hardly angry and honestly I am saddened by your views. Daggerboard makes a very similar argument and you take a different tone. Is it because I am a man? I have never accosted you and have expressed my sympathy with your personal bad experience.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

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[–] BiffGG (662) 6 years ago

I would not say that Bruce Paltrow (Gwenyth's father) or Pitt are nobodies that can be intimidated into silence or worse. With today's "news" of Pitt chasing some woman 32 years younger than him maybe we should assume that Pitt is not so virtuous as some once thought. In any event to stop the likes of Weinstein the communication has to start some place. Really no different than other types of criminal activity. If we say nothing then many things will go unpunished. I took a stand against against the "crook" in my earlier post and it got me labeled a trouble maker and many in the neighborhood shunned me. Even today having spoken up has cost me in business. However, I am not sorry that I spoke up. I can tell you from personal experience that doing what is ethically correct can be a lonely road.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

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[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

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[–] Daggerboard (581) 6 years ago

No one is saying anyone deserves to be assaulted. You're right in that the person doing the the forcing is guilty. But that doesn't mean it's smart to put ourselves in questionable situations. Would you let your daughter roam around in the red district at 2am? Why not? If she were attacked, the attacker would be guilty of a crime. But both you and your daughter would be guilty of carelessness. Parents used to teach their children about how to dress and act appropriately, how to deal with situations which make them uncomfortable, how to stay out of trouble.
I'm sorry about what happened to you with your friend's fathers. Of course you didn't deserve that. The discussion isn't about people who are assaulted. The discussion is about people knowingly putting themselves in situations which make it easier to get assaulted. You did nothing wrong. But what if, when you were older, one of those fathers asked you to meet him at his hotel room to discuss an acting opportunity in a major film? Would you be guilty of stupidity if you met him there? Yes.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

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[–] Daggerboard (581) 6 years ago

Ugh, what a creep. I'm glad you were one of the lucky ones. I feel blessed my parents were "street smart" (Dad is a retired homicide detective) and taught me the ways of the world. They also put me in a self-defense class. And at church they had an "etiquette" class for how young men and women treat each other. If there were more things like those, I think young women might be more aware when a man crosses the line and where to go for help.

[–] [deleted] 6 years ago

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[–] Daggerboard (581) 6 years ago

Yeah, that might have given him second thoughts! We all have wished for "do-overs", so you're certainly not alone there. The positive thing is you know what to do now. : )
As far as being paranoid, no, it actually adds confidence when we learn what situations to avoid, and hopefully how to handle bad things when they happen.

[–] keybored (2654) 6 years ago

In the stories I was brought up with, when it was known that there was a wolf (or other monster) preying on children (and others), the villagers would round themselves up and go hunting it till it was dead!

If only Hollywood had that attitude in the past.

I wonder how many great acors and actresses there would have been who never made the cut because they said no to the predators and were blacklisted for it?

[–] TexasJack (12515) 6 years ago

More than a few, I’m sure.

[–] Wint3rFir3 (6907) 6 years ago

I'm the same - I've always liked and respected her and will likely continue to do so, but what she said is bullshit and un-feminist and, honestly, what is the message of her op-ed?

'I wasn't pretty growing up so I didn't get abused by film and tv execs - but I was plagued by self-doubt about my looks so that was tough' - is that it?

'Dress modesty if you're a feminist' - is that it?

'Women are gaining traction in Hollywood, yay' - is that it?

Here's a direct quote that literally makes zero sense to me:

'Having others celebrate your physical beauty is not the way to lead a meaningful life.' - Like, what does this have to do with anything? You celebrating your physical beauty has nothing to do with someone sexually assaulting you - they aren't celebrating you in anyway by doing that.

Women in burkas get raped. Old women get raped. Young men get raped. Kids. What they wore did not influence them being raped - so dressing modestly or not has nothing to do with anything.

Suggesting that clothing has anything to do with why this happens so frequently in Hollywood and elsewhere is just a distraction away from the real cause - that scumbags have power. Many are the gatekeepers to power and most people know they can't get anywhere without going through them. And those that don't know, learn against their will. Hold these scumbags accountable, don't look at the victims for why this happened - we all know that some of these women and some men fought against Weinstein and others and failed because of the other scumbags in power, who didn't hold them accountable.