"But there are two factors that people seem to be completely ignoring. The first being Tom Hanks saying he wanted to know and he'd forgive her. He shouldn't have promised that and then backtracked when he got an answer he didn't like. He created a false sense of security in order to get the truth, and then reacted poorly. I can see him being upset, it's justified. And I can see him not wanting to hear her out because she lied initially. I get that part. But the second factor people seem to ignore completely."
He was running on pure emotion and would say anything to find out the truth. He was seeing red flags all over the place with her actions, and rightfully so. She was out all night, acting 'off' when she came home and may have committed the ultimate betrayal in a relationship...cheating. This was a knife twisting right into him.
"She was drunk, with no memory of any of the events that took place, and therefore unable to give consent."
According to the law, just because you're drunk and don't remember the events the next day doesn't mean you have given up consent and were raped. If she was unconscious, said "no", pushed him away, or couldn't use motor functions...ect, then yes, that would be rape. If she initiated by tearing off Max's clothes and jumping his bones, that would be consent(And he might have a case against her). As we are told by Max that she was telling him how much she still "loves him" and everything that happened the night before...that would point to this as a possibility of happening, but of course none of this happens, and we would have no evidence if it did as the scene isn't shown. But this is all semantics from a 1980's goofy comedy, really.
"Yet her manipulative ex says they had sex and she (and by the extension the audience) are not horrified by his actions. Rather we blame her."
We are, but we're also shocked and upset by her(what was likeable and sympathetic up-to this point)character's sudden 180 turn, where her initial reaction(and as she tells Max right after it happens!)is to LIE to Tom Hanks' character. It's bad writing, although the writer is consistent in her turn as she continues to up-hold this lie until they're both ready to move out and Hanks professes his forgiveness and love to her.
Make no mistake Max reprehensible, we all know this, but the wrench of her actions that's thrown in the third of four acts in the movie is nothing short of Bad. Here are the red flags and why people are perturbed at her character:
1) Having dinner and drinks with Max(this can be give or take as he is her boss and colleague, though Walter might not be comfortable with this happening)
2) Anna going to Max's apartment(!) to have more drinks
3) After waking up she comes up with the idea to lie to Walter, thinking it will fix the issue
4) Lying to Walter
5) Yelling at Walter after she tells him that she slept with Max, thinking he would be completely okay with this, acting as if she was at no fault at all in the matter
6) Anna continues this lie even AFTER she finds out that she never slept with Max, going so far as on the ready to leaving Walter for the rest of his life without knowing this information.
In real life I would give this relationship 4 years tops.
At the end of the day though...I'd say it's just bad writing and they needed punchier drama to fill in the broken house premise, which ended up making no sense with how the characters acted earlier in the film.
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